Second post already. Felt like I wanted to talk about disappointments which people make.
For most of my life I have been content with my own company having been home taught for two years and moved at 12 back to where I was born, the Netherlands. There I went to a great international school. Right up until the beginning of sixth form I felt like an outsider, not so much because the people there were not welcoming, but because the small efforts I made to socialise were never reciprocated fully. This made me feel isolated even though I know it was partially my fault for not going even further in my efforts to integrate and socialise. It did however point out to me that that quiet one in society doesn’t get thought about in terms of invitations out to things and the like, which I feel is a real crying shame. It isn’t that we don’t have anything to talk about trust me. Anyways I digress from that point.
When I arrived ‘back’ in the UK at 19 going to University I did feel like an International student and yet I wasn’t given any of the support that is usually given to such people just because my passport says I am from here. This meant for the first few weeks of Uni I was a whole mixture of things, overwhelmed, homesick (partially as parents had moved back to the UK so I couldn’t return to where my roots are (NL)), emotional, and also that of culture shock. I did not want to involve myself with the whole drinking culture which pervades much of student life in the UK, this isolated me as I couldn’t find groups that wanted to live a little easier excepting religious students (I am not particularly religious – again isolated). This therefore created again a situation where I (although again I know partially my own fault) feel like at the half way mark in terms of actual course based things, 1.5 yrs, I still don’t overly feel like I have any deep friends here which I can rely upon. Nobody asks me to have a coffee, nobody when asked or of their own volition helps me when I am sick or feeling down and I don’t unlike average adult life have my boyfriend here to support me as he is away studying as well.
I am really calling out for help on this post, all I can hope for is that someone responds.